The last 2 months or so have been particularly hard… the hardest for sometime now. I’ve struggled both financially and emotionally.
Often were told that we should be positive all the time: publicly, socially and of course on social media… I’m not a strong believer of this way of thinking or living to be honest: I think it can actually prolong ones agony, struggle and make you feel quite ill: pretending isn’t good for you! Or any of your colleagues, friends and family etc.
But having said that I’ve kept a fairly low profile…
Things seem to have eased now and life is pootling along, some good things have happened so as to feel a little better, so as to feel a little brighter.
My agony is solely caused by the current recession and my sudden divorce that happened in the middle of the recession: who would have thought that a recession affects a divorce and the often nasty aftermath of divorces: but they do! Significantly.
In April 2013 the current government abolished legal aid for divorce and any legal matters relating to divorce, the house that I shared with my ex husband is up for sale and as yet hasn’t sold and there is no sign of it selling until things pick up; living in a house that is so tangled up in legal wranglings & financial difficulties is difficult and not easy… I’ve learnt to deal with it, most days, in an almost detached way and now see it as a holiday ~ the house is beautiful.
I’m looking for a lodger to ease the strain. When things are difficult you have to find ways around the difficulties: consider options that perhaps you don’t really want to consider.
My blog is a diary, a record of my life after making the decision to quit a job: a good relatively well paid job… just last week I was questioning myself: what a fool for jumping ship and giving up the security of a steady income.
And so to the other recession linked difficulty I am having: finding a job: I’ve never struggled before, work and employment have always come easy to me. I’ve never really understood how painful and depressing job hunting can be… I’ve been fortunate all of my life until now.
I currently work as a relief support worker: I cover shifts for people who are off sick and similar or any vacancies etc… shifts at the moment are infrequent and I hardly earn enough money to pay my basic bills.
The hunt, for a job, began in earnest, nearly 6 months ago, to find a permanent part-time job: how hard could it be? The hunt is still on and the failed attempts of the hunt take their toll on me and others like me….
Oh yes there are jobs out there, but I have my limits and filling my car up with expensive fuel to drive miles and miles to a job that pays the minimum wage isn’t for me, I’d still struggle to make ends meet…
In amongst the difficulty of being without a steady income and living in a house I wished was sold there have been good things: fortunately for me I have a great bloke, great friends and a great family!
I went on holiday with Clay to Dunwich: we saved our profits from life drawing for over 8 months and with the cash we went camping in Dunwich for 3 nights (we had in fact hoped to raise enough cash to go to London for a few days). I caught 2 Sea bass and 9 crabs, we saw the sunrise at 5am one morning and as we stood and watched it rise, me in my pyjamas’s, 2 Dolphins swam by…
I’ve had bookings for workshops: great news! I was recruited as a sessional artist for a good company And my paintings are now available from a reputable gallery.
My gloom is fading, I just wish the recession was over!